Ten Seconds: Chapter 5

Chapter Five
Cyborg and Robin sit on the couch in front of their giant flat screen t.v. Sounds of laughter and joy fill the air as they play a game together. Beast Boy quietly enters and takes a seat at the far edge of the room.

After thoroughly trouncing Robin, Cyborg finally notices his green friend. "Yo, BB! You want a turn on the sticks? Robin's lost 3 times, already!" He laughs.

"Hey, I won one of those games!" Robin snaps.
Beast Boy doesn't respond. He's too busy staring off into space. His mind buzzes with what had just occurred. He had kissed her. He had kissed her long and hard. And she had let him do it... And then she threw him out. Beast Boy felt confused, and hurt... And somewhat used...

She had wrapped herself around him and allowed herself to fall into a shared sense of ecstasy. And then, just like that, she had cast him out... What was he supposed to do?

By this time, his two teammates, no they were more like brothers, were looking down into his face. "Beast Boy...? Are you ok...?" Robin asked.

"Huh?" He looked up, confused by the question. "... Yeah... I'm ok..." He lies.
"You don't look ok..." Cyborg says. "Did you find my meat freezer, or something...?"

"No... Wait, what?" Beast Boy asks, confused.
"Nothing." Cyborg quickly responds.

"Guys... I don't know if I can talk to you about this... It might make her angry..."
"By her, you mean Raven...?" Robin asks.

"Yeah... I don't want her to be any more upset with me..." He says sadly.
"It's not like you to get this worked up... If you guys had a fight, I'm sure you can work it out..." Robin says. He can't help but remember the scene he had stumbled across the other day. Both so furious they could have killed each other.
"Yeah, BB... You know Raven isn't as mean as she acts..."
"... I know..." He says. "I just... I just wish I knew what she was thinking... What she thinks of me..."

"You're her friend. That's all she needs to know." Robin says, trying to comfort him.
"... No... I think she needs to know a little more than that..." Beast Boy says. His cheeks have started to turn red.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Cyborg asks, now highly interested.

"Well... See... Um..." Beast Boy stumbles over his words.
"B, spit it out!" Cyborg says.
"I need to know how she feels about me, ok!?" He yells.

Both Robin's and Cyborg's eyes enlarge. "Are you- Are you in love with Raven...?" They ask.

"WHAT!? NO!" He responds blushing. "I just- she just-... It's not what you think!" He spews lie after lie from his mouth.

His two friends know better. They know him all too well. He's a terrible liar. He doesn't have the poker face necessary for it. "Oh wow..." Robin says, shocked at this revelation. "I guess this would explain things..." He says with a smirk.

"I knew this was gonna happen sooner or later!" Cyborg jokes. "You two fight like a cat and dog. It was bound to eventually come to this." He says gleefully.

Beast Boy attempts to form his mouth into another lie, but realizes how pointless it would be to try to hide it anymore. "Ok... You got me..." He says quietly.

"You don't sound too happy about it..." Cyborg comments.
"I am... I think... I mean... We connected the other night..."
"How deep of a connection are we talking...?" Robin pries.

Blushing and scared to death of the consequences should Raven find out what he is about to say, Beast Boy tells his two brothers everything. A death like hush falls upon the trio.
"...Whoa..." Cyborg says. "I never thought Raven... I mean..."
"... I know... She insists that she's not supposed to feel like this... But... I..."
"You love her..." Cyborg responds. Beast Boy silently nods his head.
"Beast Boy... Raven is..." Robin pauses as he tries to think of an acceptable description. "Difficult... When it comes to these kinds of things. She's not used to opening up to people. Right now, she feels threatened because she doesn't know how to handle this... Just give it time."
"Yeah... She'll come around..." Cyborg assures.
"I hope so..." He says, choking back sadness.

Raven sits alone in her room. Her heart has stopped pounding inside her chest, though her cheeks remain red. Her arms shake as she attempts to understand everything that has happened thus far. Beast Boy had kissed her again. He had kissed her much longer than before. And she had let him. She couldn't understand why. Why had she allowed him to touch her in such a way? Why hadn't she simply denied him access to her room? It would have been easy enough. She had the perfect excuse. She could have said she was still mad at him... So why didn't she...? She could have just told him to go away, and then she wouldn't be feeling this way...

No... She was glad she had let him in. She was glad she had kissed him. And she was glad that he wanted to kiss her. She couldn't stand feeling like he hated her, so that kiss was a much welcomed breath of reassurance. She was happy. But how could she be? She wasn't meant to feel. She didn't need love, or acceptance, or passion.

Passion. She had never felt it before today. She had never felt someone desire her so much. For someone to want her so badly, was inconceivable. How could anyone want her. She wasn't like Terra. Terra, who Beast Boy loved. Her long blonde hair. Her piercing blue eyes, so full of life. Her outgoing nature. She was light, even though she had betrayed her team... And Raven was dark. Darker than the blackest night.

How could Beast Boy ever love her like he had loved Terra? She felt an all too familiar emotion come rushing to her: Sadness. Just then, a knock at her door broke the silence.

"Beast Boy...?" She called out, not knowing whether she wanted it to be him or not. "No, friend Raven..." Called a familiar voice. "It is I, your friend, Starfire... Do you wish for me to get Beast Boy, instead...?"

"... No... What do you need, Starfire...?" She asks, slightly relieved.
"I wish to speak with you. You have not been yourself lately and I wish to know why..." Starfire responds.

"Starfire, I'm not really in a talkative mood... I just want to meditate..." She says.
"... Perhaps... I could meditate with you...?" Starfire asks.
Raven doesn't respond at first. Then she slowly opens the door. "Ok..." She says.

The two take their positions, hovering over the floor. As Raven inhales, she feels slightly less edgy knowing Starfire is there for her. As she attempts to exhale, however, she feels her emotions welling up inside her. Her pain, her sorrow, her regret... They all claw at her demanding release.

She attempts to speak her chant, but a choked whimper is all that manages to come out. "Raven...?" Starfire asks, looking at her friend. She sees Raven's face, twisted in agony. Her eyes clenched shut, refusing to let a single tear by. Her lips, firmly pressed together, denying any scream existance. Yes, she hurts. She has hurt for so long, but now her pride stubbornly demands that she ignore everything she feels.. Starfire leans over.

"Raven... I am your friend... You do not need to hide your feelings around me... If there is something troubling you, please, tell me..."

Raven looks at Starfire, and all of her determination desolves. Unable to hide what she feels any longer, she collapses on the floor. Tears burst from her eyes, and for the first time ever, Raven allows her sadness to fully come out. The room is swept up in a storm of pure black energy. The walls begin to crack and pages from books fly around the room spiraling, as she sobs. She clenches Starfire around the neck, needing something, anything to calm her down.

Just as she feels like she is about pop from all that is welling up inside her, Starfire holds her tightly and says, "It is ok, Raven... There is nothing wrong with hurting... We are your friends... We care about you... You can share whatever you are feeling with us..."

Raven begins to calm down. As she stares into Starfire's eyes, she feels comfort begin to choke out her sorrow. She slowly regains control as the wind dies down and everything begins to settle.

"...... Thank you... Starfire..." She says in a half cry.
"What troubles you so...?" Starfire asks again.
"..." Raven doesn't respond.
"Is it about Beast Boy...?" She asks.

Ravens eyes widen. "What? What do you mean?"
"I have noticed that things are different between the two of you... Did you have a fight...?"
"... No... Yes... We... Starfire... This is difficult for me to talk about..."
"I have plenty of time..." She says trying to assure Raven.
Raven looks at her, sighs, and then begins to report everything that has occurred.

Over an hour passes as she pours out everything she feels about Beast Boy, about Terra, and about the kiss, to Starfire. After she finally explains everything that has happened, she takes a deep breath. Starfire stares blankly, obviously blown away by what she has been told.

Raven looks back, concerned. "This is... Much to consider... You love him, yes...?" Starfire questions.

"... I... I don't know..." Raven says. She knew, though. She knew exactly how she felt about Beast Boy. She loved him. She loved him just as much as anyone could ever love another. That's why the thought of him using her to replace Terra infuriated her so much. And it was also why she was so scared. She new that it was unnatural for her to feel this strongly for someone.

She knew what would happen if she allowed herself to open up to him. Her feelings, which governed her powers, would spark immeasurable chaos should he ever break her heart. So how- How could she trust him? It was too much of a gamble.

"Raven... " Starfire says, visually struggling with herself. "Beast Boy told me something..." She says quietly.
"About me...?" Raven asks, slightly worried.
"... Yes... He told me and he made me promise not to tell anyone else... It pains me to break his trust, but I believe you need to know..."
"Know what...?" Raven asks, uncertainty clawing at her.
" When you lost control of your powers, and they began to take form in the real world. You remember, yes...?"

Of course she remembered. How could she forget? It was a perfect example of why she had to keep her emotions under control. But still... She was curious... "Yes... I remember..."

"And you remember when Beast Boy was dragged into the shadows...?"
She remembered. Though she did not particularly care for Beast Boy at that time, she was still devastated to see him pulled into the darkness.
"... Yes..." She says.
"... He truly believed he would die... He believed that he would not see any of his friends again... But he told me... The thing he felt most was regret... He regretted not telling you something..."

Raven could barely stand the suspense. "What? What did he want to say? " She asks.
"He did not tell me anymore... I feel that he was too afraid to say it, himself... Raven, Beast Boy may not want me to tell you this, but I know that he cares deeply for you... That is why he always tries so hard to make you smile..."

Raven was even more confused than before. What exactly did he want to say? Did he love her, even then? Had he loved her all along? Was it possible...? But then again, what did it change...? She could still not tell him how she felt... It would just mean that she'd be putting him in harm's way again.

"Raven... You love him, do you not...?" Starfire asks again.

Raven looks up. Her eyes screaming the answer. Yes. YES! But her lips could not manage to say it. It took all her might simply to nod her head.

"He deserves to know, Raven... It is not right for just you to know his heart..."

Raven looks down. "I know, Starfire... I know I should tell him... I know he NEEDS to know... I just..." She pauses as the strain of all the emotional trauma begins to take its toll.

"You will find the right time... There is no rush... He feels strongly for you... And I know he will not give up so easily..." Starfire says as she places a hand on her shoulder.

Raven looks up at her. "I hope you're right, Starfire... I truly do..."